ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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