Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
