OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My pussy is not your playground.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
