he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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