do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
