dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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