I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The air was thick with penises
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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