High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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