so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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