He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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