i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
if only i could text you this smell
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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