were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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