That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You can't motorboat a personality
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
