I'm really into asian looking animals
Don't make out with my wife yet
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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