I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
