I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my poor anus
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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