Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
