remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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