you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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