smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The police scanner is talking about you again....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize