At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
