It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
