your thong is hanging out like whoa
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
