Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
