her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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