No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
