Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize