im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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