life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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