well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize