and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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