just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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