so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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