it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
