OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You were trust falling into bushes
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