seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
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There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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