And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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