Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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