Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
