yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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