dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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