If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
