Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
