Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
