Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
