alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
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I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
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I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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