Texts From Last Night

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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Good. You are like the clit whisperer.

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  (320): Good. You are like the clit whisperer. http://tfl.nu/ycvo
  Replies (26) Good night (6662) Bad night (563)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype

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  (515): You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype http://tfl.nu/ca23
  Replies (10) Good night (4136) Bad night (1167)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer

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  (860): I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer http://tfl.nu/pfui
  Replies (16) Good night (5571) Bad night (970)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

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  (913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup http://tfl.nu/bt9z
  Replies (9) Good night (1251) Bad night (4307)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...

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  (705): APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk... http://tfl.nu/biv4
  Replies (5) Good night (3611) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.

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  (423): I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/dili
  Replies (5) Good night (3692) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.

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  (814): I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups. http://tfl.nu/oj47
  Replies (13) Good night (3521) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.

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  (714): I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom. http://tfl.nu/8p10
  Replies (19) Good night (3790) Bad night (1505)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.

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  (804): I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday. http://tfl.nu/6jwi
  Replies (4) Good night (2631) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked

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  (703): I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked http://tfl.nu/pe02
  Replies (4) Good night (894) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.

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  (510): This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland. http://tfl.nu/6qxu
  Replies (7) Good night (782) Bad night (1153)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?

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  (814): The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave? http://tfl.nu/sauc
  Replies (16) Good night (569) Bad night (3104)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.

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  (360): She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake. http://tfl.nu/n9ny
  Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.

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  (509): I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin. http://tfl.nu/0dob
  Replies (11) Good night (1092) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?

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  (920): My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls? http://tfl.nu/f946
  Replies (9) Good night (1368) Bad night (708)

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