Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties

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  (903): Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties http://tfl.nu/1e23
  Replies (74) Good night (696) Bad night (2060)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.

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  (248): The first sip always goes straight to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/w086
  Replies (17) Good night (5948) Bad night (719)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"

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  (503): my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal" http://tfl.nu/pkcw
  Replies (12) Good night (5377) Bad night (708)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us

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  (512): we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us http://tfl.nu/0aiz
  Replies (2) Good night (2916) Bad night (526)
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  (858): View more from California

  just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.

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  (858): just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come. http://tfl.nu/jbn7
  Replies (17) Good night (1102) Bad night (3283)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.

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  (515): The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites. http://tfl.nu/ny6g
  Replies (8) Good night (4600) Bad night (1521)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams

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  (815): Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams http://tfl.nu/1l19
  Replies (10) Good night (1232) Bad night (3684)
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  (518): View more from New York

  You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."

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  (518): You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break." http://tfl.nu/3ss4
  Replies (11) Good night (4570) Bad night (873)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.

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  (717): Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too. http://tfl.nu/67rw
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (1272)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.

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  (419): We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful. http://tfl.nu/rk3h
  Replies (6) Good night (1061) Bad night (398)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.

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  (206): Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table. http://tfl.nu/tpao
  Replies (3) Good night (1534) Bad night (431)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.

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  (360): Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum. http://tfl.nu/7kvh
  Replies (1) Good night (292) Bad night (462)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"

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  (318): A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?" http://tfl.nu/oinl
  Replies (5) Good night (1664) Bad night (415)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.

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  (+44): What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful. http://tfl.nu/aeug
  Replies (3) Good night (519) Bad night (295)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat

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  (425): Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat http://tfl.nu/7oyq
  Replies (0) Good night (224) Bad night (437)

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