Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass