Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
