At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize