She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize