We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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