you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
