First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
