It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
