not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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