btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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