Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
