just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
ok first of all what the fuck
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
