I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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