Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
